Are these not just excuses to not connect?

I was having a conversation with my best friend about my frustration with how blogging has been mostly shouting into the void for most of time doing it. Me and him both grew up in a time where the internet wasn’t a place for conversation, but instead a dump on us. I sit in front of a screen while an algorithm spoon feeds me stuff that I’m supposed to like. In a way I’m surprised at myself still resisting corporate social media when everything from restaurants to goddamn rave organizers expect you to have either Instagram or TikTok.

But the learned behaviors are so ingrained that I didn’t stop to think about it for a moment writing an earlier post on how I didn’t make use of the Discover page on Bearblog for a very long time because I was both unaware and – in part – not willing to read what (random) other people had to say in general. I expect to get responses yet I don’t lead by example and join in the conversation. I read others’ posts and almost never reply unless the post was absolutely exceptional. It has to shake me or something to pop someone an email or even drop a comment to their toot.

After starting to write this post,1 I started noticing that the people who converse on the web are a handful/minority of those I follow. The vast majority of those are Millennials and older. Maybe it’s all the lockdowns and our dependence on algorithms for human contact that made people my age so reclusive and shy from joining in on another’s thoughts. I know I’m generalizing based on my personal experience, and maybe self-selection has lead to me only being friends with the kind of people who confirm these doubts, but it’s a thought I’m willing to let escape my notes app for now.

I also realize that people who share my interests (some being only prevalent among my age group which limits the already small pool) and are as conscious of the effects of silos on our communication that they choose to post where I do number very few indeed. My tone in my posts is very authoritative and – when the post is political – I’m also very frequently angry. That can be alienating for anyone to engage with, but since that is not changing anytime soon (for the latter) I’m going to have to get acclimated to the silence.

If you are like me and have been mostly lurking and posting on your site only, be better just like I plan to be. And email, I promise people can’t bite through the screen :)

PS: Björk’s Atopos was at the top of my mind while writing this post. That’s why I chose to use the opening lyric as this post’s title because, why not?

  1. Which was two days ago at the time I’m writing this paragraph. ↩︎

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