A Late Course Correction Is Still One

I’m officially parting ways with economics. I’ve been studying towards a bachelor’s degree in economics and social sciences (the official name) since September of last year and I’m done. I don’t want this. To people around me, this most likely doesn’t come as a surprise as I’ve been dissatisfied with taking courses, studying the materials, and listening to lectures for months.

I’ve been feeling nothing but dread, but I kept telling myself that it would get better. I don’t know how, but that’s what I kept telling myself. I realize now that that was totally irrational. I can’t see myself working in this line of work for at least a couple of years, let alone for life. And so I won’t be wearing down my body for a goal I don’t share.

In a way, I have taken up economics for others and not for me, especially my parents. It seems like they were only tolerating my tendency to political science as long as I took it on the side to economics which is the safer option, career-wise. I appreciate the concern, but what use is a career that I’d rather be dead than live through? Yes, live through because nothing about it excites me.

In the end, I decided to focus on political science because the career prospects seem more appealing to me. I’ve already been reading about topics covered by this major for years and every online assessment and my own self-assessment point towards this being the most fitting for me. I’m just starting out so I can’t say much about it besides that I’m excited!

For most of my time in high school I had no idea what I wanted to do after graduating. Whenever the topic was brought up in class, I wouldn’t know what was my path going forward. I am one of those “jack of all trades, master of none” cases where I didn’t have the one thing I’m naturally good at to make the choice easier. Eventually I settled on political science after considering psychology and law for a while.

But that didn’t satisfy my parents, or so I felt, so I thought I’d try economics. I’m not really good at maths making this a risky gamble for me. As the classes progressed, it turned out that maths wasn’t the only obstacle in my way: I simply didn’t care for business admin and political economy. I just wanted to figure out ways to unfuck the world which this major wasn’t going to satisfy. So the gamble flopped.

With political science I don’t feel like I’m gambling with my future. I can’t place my finger on the reason as to why, though I can trust my gut to point me in the right direction. Hold your boots, I’m not hopeful that often on this blog :)